In Memory Kara Coburn- Superman Underpants

As I was sitting in my classroom this afternoon after finishing the final lesson of the day, a person I really don't like informed me that he had bad news and wanted to tell me in person.I assured him that I had no need to hear anything bad from him in person because if I were to cry, I would like the ability to just step away. He informed me that my friend of 15 years, a girl who is like family, a sister to me, was found dead in her house this morning. I instantly turned pale and didn't know what to say or do. I asked if he was sure, what happened, then abruptly left. I fully intended to go find him in person to question him, instead I made it 3 steps before the tears began flowing. I raced to the bathroom and locked myself in stall where shortly after i found my self doubled over sobbing. I pulled myself together, put my sunglasses on and walked out to my truck. I sobbed again once I reached the safe confinement of my truck and called the only person I knew to call, our other dear friend Jennifer. Jenn answered and couldn't understand a word coming out of my mouth, so I regained my composure and told her "Kara is dead". Hearing the words come out of my mouth made me start sobbing again. I didn't know what to do. I talked to Jenn and told her what I knew and began driving home (with my phone in my hand which is totally illegal in San Antonio- but I could not have given a shit.) My friend was gone. I didn't know if it was homicide, was it that creepy neighbor guy that waited for her to come home and talk to her everyday? Or was it one of the neighbor ladies Craigslist tenants for the night that happened to be a serial killer? Kara would never intentionally hurt herself, not here, not now. She had plenty of reasons to fall in to deep depression in the past, and I was sure that there was nothing that would lead her to do that. I got home and put on my tough girl pants. I needed to be alone, so I scooped up Duke the dog and took him for a walk.

We walked and ran, and swam, and I thought. I ran through the awesome times I had with Kara and that is what brings me to this blog. I want to put them on paper, to make sure I never forget, that the world can see what a sweet, funny, caring, person is like. And when they say how amazing and care free and genuinely sweet to her friends she is, it is known, that every single piece of it is true. So here is my letter to Kara. Kara, I have so many fond memories of you, every single one of them was filled with laughter. I remember when I first met you, you were my supervisor in the Air Force and I was a confused little A1C. You laughed at me when I tried to stand at parade rest to talk to you, and told me to knock that shit off with a smile. The first time you protected me from Petty Officer Soto-Gomez's rants against me, when he told me I lied about submitting my leave papers because he didn't sign them and therefore I wasn't allowed to go on leave and you showed him documents saying that I did in fact submit them and he signed them a month earlier and you stopped his antics against me. You were my supervisor when I got in trouble for that stupid test and smoked with me in your Jeep when I was uncontrollably crying because I had just received an article 15. You reminded me that although it seemed serious, it really didn't mean shit in the big scheme of things. You are were right.

Then next thing I knew, you weren't just my boss, you were my friend. You were at my birthday parties always buying me gifts that cost way too much. You gave me the movie "Swimfan" on my 21st birthday at Chili's then insisted on paying for my drinks. You did it again on my 22nd, and for my going away when I was moving to Maryland. Six long lonely months later, you moved to MD. I was so happy to have you with me! My smoking buddy was back!! Then you got married. I remember when you lost the giant Bailey Banks and Biddle diamond out of your engagement ring, and when your house gotten robbed. Remember that night I brought my video camera (yes, the old school one) a 6 pack of Michelob Ultra, when it first came out, and knitting supplies. We stayed up all night monitoring your backyard, learning how to knit while tossing back a few beers, which we were convinced were actually water since we felt more sober than when we started.

Remember when we both decided to quit smoking? Instead of our hourly smoke breaks, we would walk to the drug store and play with the puppets. You had that gay multi-color unicorn, and I had the giraffe and the wolf. Eventually we got Bob in on the puppet thing too. and the people in the office loved our idea of briefing Kathy with the puppets during the morning meeting. I miss our impromptu puppet shows where we agreed, via puppet of course, to live solely on Pop Rocks and Red Bull for the entire day.

 Then there was our adventure to Alexandria, when we thought it was a great idea to take the metro all the way from Silver Spring to Alexandria to go see Jenn and Hilary so that we didn't have to drive. It took like 3 hours each way, and on our bar hopping endeavor we had to stop to pee, so we climbed a fence into a ladies backyard and peed. I do believe we also peed in the parking garage at the metro station that night. Who knows, it was fun though! And like you would say "I have the bladder of a Golden Retriever puppy"

 What about the adventure to West Virginia? "Wild and Wonderful West Virginia, kinda like your mom" I still have that shirt and I still wear it.

 And when you moved back to Texas and stayed with me for a bit. Kara, you PROMISED you were a good horseback rider! As we loped down the trail and I turn around to find you on the ground. I felt so horrible! I can't believe you came off of Shelby. And you toughed it out like nothing had happened, but yet you were bruised and beat up and claimed "I bruise like a peach" .. yeah but that peach came off of a truck going 20 mph and got run over, I would say you held it together pretty well. I see why you weren't up for the bar that night, but yet, I still convinced you that a couple of beers and the fall would be forgotten (at least until the next day).

 Then there was the time that you offered to to babysit my boyfriend at the time's kids so we could go out, and you took them to Golden Corral and they ate strictly dessert. I loved the look on your face when you had to tell me there was blue vomit down the inside of the door in the back because the boy threw up cotton candy. You always did now how to overdo it in the best ways. Man those kids adored you. They would have traded me in for you in a heartbeat.

 So many memories, Kara, I can't believe that you are gone. I wish that we could have done more, and spent more time together. I can't believe your time here is over. It has only been one day but I can't help but check your chat status to see if you want to go walk around the building and talk.

Could it be for real this time?

POF, Plenty of Fish. Seriously, one of the most difficult ways to find a suitable person who has personality and is able to communicate beyond computers and phones. It can even be considered degrading and pathetic as a way to meet a significant other, men sending inappropriate pictures, and women posting pictures of what they looked like 10 years ago. Then it happens, you click on "meet me" while scrolling through pictures and determining your fate based entirely on images. Then he sends you a message, or maybe you send him one. You find it in your inbox, 1 in 200 messages, and you choose to accept a date with that one guy. The first date, not extremely impressive. We met at WildWest only to find out that it was closed. His first words to me were something about a little girl trying to park her big truck. We moved the date to the gastro pub. He wants Coors light, and they have is specialty brews. Despite the beer situation, we had some good conversation, and both headed our separate ways. I wasn't sure what I thought. He was cool, not sure if he is getting a second date, but his eyes, he has such mesmerizing eyes and his smile, I like it. But what got me, was when he walked me to my truck, opened the door for me and hugged me. I expected a kiss, I expected the guy to try to cram his tongue down my throat like every other date I had been on recently. I waited for that awkward moment, that would have guaranteed that a second date would not have happened. But it didn't happen. Not even close.

The next night, I hesitantly agreed to go dancing at Wild West. I was hesitant because I was nervous about "dancing" this wasn't booty shaking and getting low, this was two-stepping. I have tried it before, and people make it look so fun. But it doesn't look easy, anyways, I wanted to learn and what the hell, if I suck, its a second date. I don't know this guy. No big deal. So we were bored and decided to meet early for dinner and a drink. A shot of whiskey at 54th Street, and we were on our way. By midnight I couldn't figure out why he hadn't kissed me. We danced and laughed, and drank. Finally I had to kiss him. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to know what if felt like. I claimed that The Whiskey made me do it, but I did it.

I love that I had to do it, it wasn't me avoiding his attempts to kiss me, or him leaning over at the wrong time. It was me. ALL ME. That never happens and that dynamic was a huge part of what I dig about this guy. That was on a Thursday. December 4, 2014, to be exact. That night, he stayed the night at my house, we did everything but have sex. He was the one that stopped it. I appreciated that. The next day, I couldn't wait to see him. He went to pick up his kids decided to bring them over to play. I was wearing a tank top, shorts and cowboy boots. He told me how delicious I looked, but contained himself. That night I had some friends over and we had a fire in the fire pit. All I could do was hold him and hang on him all night long. He has a way about him that takes control of a situation in a way that makes me feel like I don't have to. Anyways, the next day, we went riding with the kids, River got to ride Rambo, we hung out around my place went to Beefy's and then came back here for some tv and making out in the kitchen. That Sunday, I met him at Main Event with his kids, I got to confirm the kind of parent he is and I decided that I can't get enough of this guy. So here we are, two months later. We took at trip out of state and still like each other. I guess we will see where it goes from here!

UPDATE: 9 months later, and I am still excited to get home everyday and see this man and share my time with him. I can't see my life without him.